On Awakening: At 3 A.M.

For the past four months, I have been waking up at 3 a.m. At first, I thought it might be stress, but now I feel it is something deeper. Those quiet early hours have become sacred to me. They give me space to think, pray, and create.

Around this time last year, I started painting. It began in my garage, messy and unstructured, as I experimented with color and texture. I wanted to see what would happen if I allowed myself to create without rules. That question opened more doors than I expected. Art became a part of my life and eventually found its way into 4th Dimension Sobriety. Over time, it grew into something much larger than I imagined.

We call this growing process On Awakening. It started as a way to use art in recovery. Residents and volunteers came together, not just to paint but to tell stories through layers. These layers captured hope, struggle, and transformation. What began as small moments of reflection became something much bigger. The murals now lining the backyard of 4th Dimension are just one example.

Right now, we have four murals in progress, paused temporarily by the weather. In 2025, we plan to complete six more, creating a space that reflects the experiences and lessons of recovery. However, On Awakening is not just about murals. In my mind, it is evolving into something broader. I imagine it as a space where art, psychology, spirituality, and recovery intersect. It could include workshops for creating layered stories through paint or sessions for reflecting on the mysteries of struggle and grace. Honestly, I do not know exactly what it will look like yet, but I am certain it will continue to grow.

One thing I know for sure is that the process matters more than the outcome. Painting, like recovery, is not about achieving perfection. It is about showing up, working through what does not fit, and allowing the mistakes to teach you something new. There is something profoundly spiritual in that rhythm. Art guides us into these mysteries, revealing the joy of connection, the light of grace, the pain of struggle, and the beauty of what emerges when we trust the process.

This is what On Awakening is becoming. It reflects the layers of life, offers space to explore what lies beneath the surface, and provides a way to connect with something greater through the act of creation.

I have also decided to work toward an art show. I do not know when or how it will happen yet, but I am confident it will. For me, the art is not the final goal. It is about sharing the stories behind the pieces and inviting others into their own journey of discovery.

Right now, my art studio is surrounded by Hot Wheels, dinosaurs, Godzilla, Donkey Kong, and remote-control cars. It is chaotic and perfect, reminding me that creativity does not require an ideal setting. It only requires showing up and allowing the process to unfold.

There is much more to come, and I am excited to see where this journey leads.